What it took to write A Murder for Miss Hortense
Board with motivational messages
What support structures are needed to follow your dreams…
My experience is that writing isn’t just about me, the writer. It’s also about the support that you have around you too. For me, that’s my family who have had to accept my writing choices. It’s been as much their journey as it has been mine.
Writing a book can be such an INTENSE process. You get sucked into this vortex where for a period of time all you do is sleep, eat and breathe book and if I didn’t have the support of my family and friends I’m not sure I would have been able to achieve my writing goals in the way I have.
What’s beautiful to me now is that my family and friends brought into my writing dreams before there was ever anything to show for them.
Years ago, I chose to do a Masters in Creative Writing. I was pregnant with my eldest child and thought I’d have all the time in the world when he was born to study.…Okay okay yes of course we all know that is not how it goes when you have a newborn. Alas no, I couldn’t do the studying in the way I had planned before my son was born - on my maternity leave. I had to accept my pre-baby plans were a little unrealistic and had to adapt them, for example, sourcing a Masters programme closer to home (not in Bath Spa when I was based in London), one that provided me with the flexibility I needed (one day a week instead of over weekends!). I also ended up having my second child during my Masters so had to defer it for a bit. In total, it probably took me about five years to complete rather than the two in the brochure. But without the support of childcare from my parents-in-law and the ability to work flexibly, I wouldn’t have been able to do the course.
I invested in other things too, a programme with Tamasha Theatre Company which meant every second Tuesday evening I was also out of the house when my children were small.
I shouldn’t pretend that it’s all been plain sailing. There was some resistance…. “What exactly are you doing again that means you need to be out of the house?” There were and are still times when I feel selfish and guilty. When on a deadline I once wrote through a whole Christmas. I’ve generally taken my laptop with me on holidays and been up writing when everyone else has gone to bed. There are many times when I haven’t been wholly present, “Mum did you hear what I said?” “Sorry, what was that?”
It’s easier now that I have something to show for it, a soon to be published physical book (one of my magical milestone moments) but the point I guess is that my friends and family brought into my dreams before my dreams manifested themselves. In fact, they helped me to manifest them.
Do you see the picture of my writing board and do you see the date? Before I had a book deal. When I said to my daughter I was struggling to get the story and tried to encourage myself by writing on the board positive messages. My daughter also wrote things like, “Soar high” and “You got this mummy”.
My experience is that living with a writer requires some patience, a lot of understanding and a whole heap of love. It’s warming to know that my family have supported me in this journey and are proud of me.
Tips :
Be honest with yourself about what writing this book is going to take from you (and your family and friendships).
Tell the people around you that you are on deadlines if you are - that means no I cannot make your lunch boxes this week, no, I’m not cleaning, no I’m not dropping you to random places.
Find out what times of the day work best for you to write - My process can be a lot of early mornings, late evenings and weekends. Have that conversation with the people around you. The rhythm of the household is going to change for an intense period. Articulating that can take the pressure off.
If you are working intensely just be mindful of your own health - my tinnitus can become more acute when I’m a bit stressed for example. I know that now, even if I can’t do anything about it but understanding how your body works in certain situations can also take the pressure off and again if it’s going to impact others around you have that conversation.
